Now that Billy Bass has joined the gift stalls' remaindered shelves, where he can be purchased for a few dollars (euros), the nerds have moved in to use the gimmick for other things than singing the blues.

A website (http://bigmouth.here-n-there.com/) gives instructions on how to gut Billy's tiny preprogrammed chip, which previously enabled him to sing just one or two songs, and replace it with a mighty open-source Linux microprocessor.

Once this is installed, along with Wavesurfer, a phonetic transcription programme, the fish can be made to say almost anything, still with coordinated lip-synch and wriggly tail.

The website has several entertaining video snippets of Billy uttering well-known phrases in history.

They include the fish speaking in Homer Simpson's voice "Mmmm, forbidden doughnuts!", Richard Nixon insisting "I am not a crook" and Bill Clinton saying "I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky."

The next step, says technophile weblogger Clive Thompson (http://www.collisiondetection.net/) is for Billy-lovers to hook up a microphone and webcam -- and conduct teleconferencing by bass.

SPACE.WIRE